- The better choice.
In the not too distant past the neighborhood hardware store was the savior of many anxious homeowners lost in a weekend project only to find that something has gone awry by some essential part or gizmo that has failed. These failures are catastrophic in that projects that have been procrastinated upon are now started but not completed and a cherished tee time is inflexible.
Countless weekend warriors would descend upon their village hardware store clutching some nameless gizmo seeking a quick replacement so they can claim some minor home improvement accomplishment to their spouse before disappearing onto the front nine. But the supposed progress of American society today has consolidated local hardware stores into two competing big box chains ostensibly to make life better for us all.
Our once trusty hardware expert who owned the local store has now retired to some warm climate and while his children waste their inheritance at the Indian casino our downsized neighbors now don uniforms and walk the aisles of the two warring chains: Home Depot and Lowes.
As one who frequents and patronizes both on a regular basis I have had to put them both to the test recently and memorialize my experiences here as a public service. First, allow me to admit that the default hardware chain for reasons I cannot articulate is Home Depot. I have been under the impression that if you needed some obscure item you had a better chance of finding it at Home Depot than at Lowes.
So it is no wonder that when the nozzle on my pressure washer died I would immediately head to the Depot seeking a replacement only to find countless options, all similar, but none identical to what was required. The normally helpful salesman was alone and occupied giving a lawn cutting primer to a middle aged woman in her virgin search for a power mower. I waited patiently as he took her on a tour of every machine in the store, explaining each one in such detail that even the most patient observer would be tempted to scream “just buy the one on the right already”!
To improve my chances of attracting service I strategically parked myself on the seat of the most expensive riding mower in the store, hoping that a capitalist motive would divert his attention from a potential $200 sale to a $2500 purchase. It didn’t work. In fact, this woman was now asking questions about leaf blowers and the two retreated to the privacy of the next aisle where heaven knows what was going on.
My question was a simple one: Which stinking nozzle should I buy since none of the items carried the exact same model number as the one I needed? The option of guessing became very real but the though of a return trip to correct in incorrect choice loomed in my head. In the interest of energy conservation, the wait continued.
It was then that I decided to call Lowes. So, sitting atop the Rolls Royce of riding mowers with trusty cell phone in hand, the automated attendant at the Lowes across the street ultimately guided me to some guy named Bob. It was then that I learned that Bob was my savior and had the exact part I needed. So, off I went as some kid waved and said “Have a nice day. Thanks for shopping Home Depot.”
Do not think this has been an isolated instance. Just this past weekend my ti-ki torches went dry on the patio and the mosquitoes were attacking. With guest about to arrive I made an emergency run to the depot in search of the citronella oil that had been on display all summer. When I arrived at the store the display had been replaced by Halloween scarecrows (it was just after Labor Day weekend). The salesman told me the oil was in the garden center. So off I ran, only to find nothing and be directed back to where I had come. Finally the store manager told me they got rid of the oil for the season was over and they needed to make way for the Christmas stuff.
Excuse me, it’s a beautiful weekend, the bugs are out, people are having barbeques and are not in immediate need of Halloween decorations, let alone fake Christmas trees. Can I just have some citronella oil, PLEEEASSE!!!
Where did I ultimately find it? Let’s just say the final score is Lowes 2, Home Depot 0.